As a leader for the last 15 years, I always struggled with me. This constant disconnect between who I was in the office and who I was at home with my family or friends weighed on me. I don’t even think I could have really articulated the weight at that time, but it showed up in my life through anxiety. How many of you can relate to waking up ruminating at 3am? The second-guessing what I said or how I acted, the calls on the way home to my BFF reliving the day over and over again, and coming home to my hubby just to have the same conversation again was exhausting! (Probably for them, too!)
I wasn’t being genuine. I wasn’t being congruent. I wasn’t bringing my whole self to the conversation. I was bringing the part that got me there – the tenacious, determined, strategic go-getter. But, I had forgotten the compassionate, caring, warm, empathetic person that is also me.
That’s the genesis of Genuinely You Leadership. I believe that for many women we don’t bring our whole genuine self to the conversation – and I mean all conversations both in and out of the office.
For me, my conversations outside of the office were more compassionate, caring, and warm. Yet didn’t include a lot of the planner, strategic, action-oriented mindset that is also me.
Why not? Maybe I was afraid that if people saw the more action-oriented side of me they’d see me as pushy or annoying. Truthfully, I was scared of what they’d think.
But that’s exactly who I was created to be – all of me. Compassionate, go-getter, kind, strategic, empathetic, results driver. That’s what makes me genuine, real and one-of-a-kind. (And, that goes for you too!)
When I started to mesh what I had originally thought were opposing characteristics together and started to live and lead more genuinely in every situation that is when the magic happened. That’s when I felt more purposeful and more at peace.
That’s how I’m striving to live and lead every day from here on out – genuinely me. It’s a daily conscious decision for me now and one I’m actively pursuing (and you can too!). After all, as one of my favorite sayings appropriately goes, “it’s the journey, not the destination.”
Now, maybe you have a different challenge. Maybe at home you lead more comfortably, but at work you struggle to speak up. It may even be that you struggle to be your genuine self around certain people or in certain situations. Whatever your unique scenario, you feel deep down like you are leaving a part of you out of the equation and you’re stifled. You aren’t being congruent.
I believe living and leading more genuinely is possible for you too. If you’d like to join me on the journey, I’d love to connect.
You are completely right. Why are we only showing part of ourselves in various aspects of our lives? I came into a new position with my head wrapped around the fact that I was going to be me; I needed to speak up and show my co-workers that I do have an opinion, let my walls down so others could see my compassionate side, and let them know I see and want to learn from them. I was quickly met with opposition from a co-worker, was backed into a corner, and I did not know what else to do. I realize now that I settled back into my quiet corner, threw my walls back up, and moved back into my “head down, push forward” mentality.
“But that’s exactly who I was created to be – all of me.” I find myself comparing who I am to everyone around me instead of embracing who I am and was created to be. I’m slowly realizing that I need to stop over analyzing myself and just be me. Learn, grow, and flourish, not change… not become a different version of myself based on those around me.
I am excited to see this program grow and can not wait to read more of your blogs!
Thank you so much for sharing your story, Megan. It’s so easy to allow other’s opinions (or our perspectives of their opinions) to impact our behavior and how we feel about ourselves. And yet, I’m reminded from time to time, that only I have the power to determine how I respond to that. It’s a choice we each can make. I’m so glad you’re striving to live that way! I know firsthand how AMAZING you and I’m glad you are going to let you shine!!!
Thank you for posting Andrea! And I can 100% relate. People who know me from work see one strong, confident, hyper-detailed, energetic and impatient type … and people at home (family, friends, neighbors) see a more laid-back, funny, silly, sweet and nurturing side. In recent years I’ve allowed more of my personality and the softer-side to come through at work as well and it has made a tremendous difference, both to my teams (who appreciate me being more human and relatable) and to my own state of mind. I do feel much more at peace being more genuine and accepting of the emotional side of things, and I think the business world is now starting to appreciate that more in recent years as well (or maybe that is helped by having more women at the top!).
Congrats on your new business! You will be awesome!
Thank you so much for sharing your genuinely you story, Kristi. I was reminded last night at an event that the two groups of people who know you best are your family and your co-workers! Both see the highs, lows and how we operate under stress. I’m so happy to hear you’ve allowed your more fun, silly, sweet side to come into your work environment and that it’s created more peace for you! It’s the way I really hope we can all begin to lead!!!
Excellent post – I feel confident that many can relate! Being genuine is noticeable and is a huge key to success, both personally and professionally.
Congratulations again on your new venture. I believe it will be a true blessing to many!!!
Thank you so much, Lisa!!! I really appreciate that! And I 100% agree that people can sense and relate to genuineness. It makes a big difference.
Wow, I can sure relate to this! I look forward to reading more of your insights and taking away some nuggets of wisdom!
Thanks so much, Susan! Everyday I’m learning more and more how common it is. Stressful and anxiety-inducing, for sure! Thanks for reading!
I can totally relate to this, Andrea. Thanks for sharing your story. I know my success started to exponentially increase when I was able to show up as my whole self at work – and also at home. And my feminine intuition was key to that!
I love what you’re doing here for women. What a difference we make to organizations when we show up as our genuine selves!!
I love this, Meg! And I appreciate you mentioning the importance of our intuition. Our instincts can be a powerful guide for us when we are aware enough to listen to them.